1 Samuel 3:10
Then Samuel said, "Speak for your servant is listening."
Jesus did it. He walked through the world of evil as an example of holiness. I try my best but the unholy, the demonic influences, and those who choose to lay miserable in the dark get to me sometimes. I THOUGHT I was struggling with that today.
A woman who is living in the house I live in is new in her recovery. Anyone who has been in and out of drugs suffers from the effects of long term drug use. I've been clean over a year and I am just now thinking straight. I was trying to help the woman by pointing out a habit I recognize as drug behavior and she got very offensive and misunderstood everything I was saying, unable to grasp what I was telling her.
This started a whole afternoon of her behaving erratically. And so I came outside and prayed about it. God planted a thought in my head. Jesus always asked people if they wanted to be healed. He did not force it on them or point out in individuals what they were doing wrong unless they asked him. He stayed in his own lane and only acted after someone asked or proclaimed they needed help.
Duh, Amy. So okay. And then I thought of how tender my feelings were when I first got home after three months of rehab...I was a blubbering mess of erratic behavior, struggling to fit in, afraid of what people thought of me, desperately wanting to be normal and accepted by those I love. I hung my head, not in prayer, but in shame. I forgot in my desire to help someone that each person must recover at their own pace and in their own way.
God had told me to be an EXAMPLE, not a self righteous teacher scolding a child for not learning to read quickly enough. I try so hard to live right, to be compassionate, to walk above the darkness but realize the enemy will use those things against me the moment I stumble. I made a mistake, one that hurt someone who is struggling in her own recovery every day.
Of course, I apologized to her and instantly the issue was over but I do not want to become the Christian lady that is so self righteous that no one wants to be around her. Most of them tell themselves they are just trying to help just as I told myself today. I am grateful that I remembered my bible study this morning about being still and listening to God. Because as soon as I did, He corrected me and taught me a painful but valuable lesson.
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